


Love Is Like

by stormysunshine



Series: You & Daveed [7]
Category: Blindspotting (2018), Daveed Diggs - Fandom, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blindspotting - Freeform, Daveed Diggs - Freeform, Established Relationship, F/M, Hamilton - Freeform, Love, Love Confessions, Marriage, Mild Smut, smut mentions, snowpiercer - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormysunshine/pseuds/stormysunshine
Summary: Y/N recounts the time she knew she was truly in love with Daveed.
Relationships: Daveed Diggs - Relationship, Daveed Diggs and Reader - Relationship, Daveed Diggs and Y/N, Daveed Diggs/Reader, Daveed Diggs/Y/N
Series: You & Daveed [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877500
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Love Is Like

**Author's Note:**

> ***NAME CHANGE*** I decided to change Diana's name to Gabrielle. It's more fitting to me haha 
> 
> Black!Reader, but everyone's welcome to engage :)

"I still can't believe you came all the way out here, Y/N. With Daveed and the kids, I didn't think you'd break free," Janisa teased as she cut three slices of her homemade cinnamon cake. Y/N chuckled as she brought her over a porcelain plate with a thick piece piled on top. 

"Right. I was shocked when you couldn't make it last time. And I thought I was the worst one," Bahati, a woman with incredibly impressive cheekbones and a coily low-cut that Janisa had introduced to the friend group three years before, grinned. Bahati was an ornithologist and was often pulled into global conventions or had to write up a new study on how to save the birds in the rainforests. 

"Finally getting a free weekend feels like luxury." Y/N stretched as if to prove her point. "Besides, I have a lot to catch y'all up on." 

"Well, go ahead!" Janisa sat down and picked up her tea cup filled with black tea. "I've been needing some new tea and I'm sure I've already bored you two to death about my trip to Italy." 

When she turned thirty, Janisa had abandoned her career in politics and strove toward her true passion - photography. She'd stopped shooting in high school when her parents warned her about choosing an impractical life path, but when she admitted to Y/N that she'd rather pick out her eyes with a fork than to continue any kind of social science, she picked up her camera again. She started with booking local events like birthday parties and weddings, and that led het to latest accomplishment; having her work featured at a famous festival in Italy. 

"Yep, and how you're living the life with no kids and no husband," Y/N simpered with no real bite. She wasn't offended at all by Janisa's choice to live the single, rich "auntie" life. Hell, marriage and children were some tough jobs to take on and she knew in her heart her friend would feel limited if she were in that position. 

"Hey, when both of y'all kids get jewelry for Christmas, I don't wanna hear nothin'," Janisa surmised and sipped her tea. The women laughed and Bahati asked as she stirred some more cream and sugar into her tea, "How are you and Daveed, Y/N? The kids doing all right?" 

"Well," Y/N cleared her throat, "that's what I wanted I talk to you two about."

The other women looked at her, tuned in. "What?" Janisa asked. Y/N licked her lips free of cake crumbs and exhaled, partially nervous about their reaction but partially elated that it didn't have to be kept a secret anymore, "Daveed and I are trying to have another baby."

"Whaaat!" Janisa squealed and had to sit her tea cup down. "Are you serious?!" 

Y/N laughed, "Yeah. We talked about it for a long time and we think we'll feel complete with one more addition." 

"How's everything going?"

"Honestly? A little tougher than I thought." Y/N wrapped her hands around her cup. "We've been trying for almost half a year now, and when I say trying, I mean try- _ing_." 

Because both Gabrielle and Xavier had been "oopsies," Y/N didn't realize how difficult it'd actually be trying to have a baby on purpose. When she was younger, she assumed that she was incredibly fertile considering how both their children seemed to come out of nowhere, but she was reckoning with the idea that that may not have been the case. She assumed if she and Daveed had a lot of sex, a baby would eventually come out of it, but there was nothing so far. She told that to Janisa and Bahati. 

"Oh, sweetie, six months isn't even that long. It takes some people years," Bahati offered with a sympathetic nod. 

"Yeah, and don't be shy about fertility treatments either. They try to make us feel bad about needing it, but it's not true." Janisa said. 

"Says the woman that's _not_ a mama," Y/N retorted with a little ice this time. 

"I'm just saying, girl." 

"Sorry." Y/N shook her head. "All of it just has me on edge. I even snapped at Daveed before I left today." 

"Why?" Bahati wondered. 

"I know this is gonna sound crazy, but he's been running me _ragged_ , y'all." Y/N admitted and that made them laugh. "I'm serious!" she continued and re-dunked her teabag. "I'm _exhausted_. You'd think getting some every day would be the dream, but when it's really only about having a baby…I don't know…there's just a lot less romance involved and starts feeling like a chore. I don't want it to get to the point where we start resenting each other, especially if it takes me a long time to actually get pregnant."

Y/N didn't typically talk about her sex life, even if it deserved to be boasted about, but it was bothering her and she knew she could trust her friends to keep their conversation from getting back to Daveed. 

"Hey, it's just a little rough patch; every couple goes through it, especially concerning kids. Me and Mike fought tooth and nail when Bakari was a baby," Bahati revealed with a shrug. "We both thought our way was the best way, but we figured it out eventually. You've never been through this before, so it's okay if you guys don't have all the answers yet." 

"Y'all will figure it out, I'm sure," Janisa added. "That man worships the ground you walk on." 

She started tapping her cup with her fingernails, in such a way that both Y/N and Bahati knew she was thinking and had something to say. 

"What, Nise?" Y/N queried. 

"I was just thinking." Janisa looked off into the distance as if to prove that was exactly what she was doing. "Before y'all get your hopes up, 'cause I know how y'all are, I'm _not_ saying I'm interested in anyone... but how do you know that you love someone?"

Y/N and Bahati exchanged glances, surprised by the woman who more often than not swore off men and love. It was too much work, was her usual excuse. 

She went on, "Like, people say they love people all the time. They don't even have to mean it! What does it feel like when someone _truly_ loves you for who you are?" 

Bahati explained that love to her felt warm and something that couldn't be conveyed into words, that it was a feeling more than a rationale. 

Y/N took a moment to think. "Well, I knew I truly loved Daveed maybe seven months into our relationship." 

\- - -

Y/N wasn't a crier, but she was about to cry. A random thunderstorm had come out of nowhere, or at least appeared that way since she'd missed the morning weather report. What had begun as a beautiful sunny morning had warped into a dreadfully dark and wet afternoon. She watched the cars below slosh passed gutters. The sky hadn't lightened in an hour, and when she checked her phone for any updates, the weatherman said to be prepared for the storm to last well into the night. 

To make matters worse, she was a state over in Pennsylvania on a business trip. Her boss, Linda, who liked to see her as her assistant, requested she join her for a few days as she conducted a finance seminar. Y/N agreed, sad she'd miss Daveed'd weekly visit, but up for the extra pay she'd get.

"It's raining cats and dogs out there!" Linda came back into the building with a dripping umbrella. "I couldn't even stop for lunch. Everyone's hiding out in restaurants and stores until they can get a ride wherever they're going."

Y/N slumped over her desk. "And I don't even have an umbrella! I didn't know it was going to rain today and I had to park almost _a mile_ away this morning." Who knew literally every street parking space would be taken by seven-thirty in the morning? 

"Maybe you can hail a cab?" Linda offered and Y/N shook her head.

"I'd be lucky enough to even catch one in this weather. They're probably all stuffed with people; even the buses." Y/N hadn't ridden a bus since that day in Vermont with her friends, so she could only imagine how awful it'd be to stand on a crammed, damp, and smelly bus all the way back to her hotel. She would if she had to, but she prayed it wouldn't come to that.

She'd convinced herself that the storm was almost over and that it would move onto another city within the hour. She got a granola bar from the snack machine for lunch and had the audacity to be shocked that the downpour continued an hour later. When she found a slow time of the day, she called Daveed to pout. He picked up on the third ring. 

"Hey, baby. You okay?" He sounded concerned, but Y/N couldn't blame him. A random call at three in the afternoon wasn't quotidian considering how busy she'd been since she got to Pennsylvania. 

"Hey, Daveed, and no, I'm not," she groaned. "I don't know if you've seen the weather reports over here, but a crazy storm blew in all of a sudden. Like, hurricane type of rain. I don't have an umbrella, my car is a mile away, it looks like every single cab in the city is taken, and the weather update said the storm wouldn't be over until eight tonight. I get off at four!" Y/N could feel the tears coming to her eyes. She was so frustrated. The last thing she needed after running reports and making calls for Linda all day was to have to wait another four hours in the building just for the stupid rain to stop.

"All right, all right. Calm down. It may be over before then. You can't hitch a ride with your boss?"

"I already asked. She said she'd love to, but she has to attend another meeting at three and wants me to stay here to collect messages until I get off. I don't know anyone else here."

"Isn't she the one who asked for you to go there with her? It's kinda weird that she's just leaving you there."

"I know," Y/N moaned, "but I have to do what she asks if I want to get paid."

"What building are you in? No drivers?"

"I'm at the Marlton building on fourth. You'd think there'd be more considering. The few they have are already in rotation to take about a hundred employees home. I asked the front desk how long it would take until a ride was available, and they told me they were booked until eight. Either way I'm out of luck."

"Damn. Babe, I have to go. I need to get a report submitted in fifteen minutes, but everything will work out fine, okay?"

She was a little taken aback by his abruptness, and wasn't too sure she appreciated it given the circumstances, but she sighed, "Yeah, okay. Call you when I get to the hotel— _if_ I make it there."

Y/N waited until six in the evening to finally leave her small desk in the corner. She filled her time with some reading and playing a little music from her computer. Even the janitor was asking if she planned to go home. The deluge had jaded a bit, but it was still a steady rainfall. If she walked with no umbrella, she'd still be soaked to the skin. Alas, with no other option, she reluctantly faced her impending doom and rode the elevator down the lobby. 

She could see the rain skipping stones on the pavement. She even saw some of the people who worked in the building still standing outside waiting on drivers. She changed her mind. She could handle another two hours in the waiting area. She had no reason to prove she was brave enough to literally weather the storm. Satisfied with punking it out, she headed towards a cushioned seat. 

When one of the front entrance doors opened, she didn't bother to look, figuring it was someone who couldn't handle the mugginess of the elements anymore. But then she heard, "Y/N." 

She looked toward the entrance and her eyes widened. A very, _very_ familiar man was standing there, shaking off his huge wet umbrella. 

"Daveed?" Y/N walked towards him as if he were a figment of her imagination, but when she was close enough and saw it was really him in all his glory, she hurried over and threw her arms around him. 

"Oh, my God! What are you doing here?" She didn't give him a chance to answer, grabbing his face and kissing him. He chuckled against her lips and drew her in by the waist. 

"You said you needed an umbrella, right?" 

"What? How did you—what?" Y/N was flabbergasted. "Really, babe; how on Earth did you _get_ here?" 

"I had a couple of rich classmates who owed me favors. One of their fathers owns a jet, and I asked if I could hitch a ride."

"And he said yes?!" Y/N came from money, but luxury-jet-ride-on-a-Tuesday money?

"Yup. His mother's business headquarters are actually here, so he stopped by to see her on the way."

"Daveed." All Y/N could do was shake her head. How on Earth the planets aligned in order for him to pull something like this off was beyond her. "You really came all this way for me? Just like that?" 

He shrugged. "You sounded like you were in distress."

"I was but…this is too much—,"

"Hey, it's too late—I'm here now." 

Wow. Not only did he _fly_ a couple of hours out, he wouldn't even let her be flustered by the treatment. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. A janitor teasingly whistled at them. 

Daveed opened up his huge umbrella with a _whoosh_ and walked with Y/N to his car that was only a block down. He drove her to her car, and then she asked if he'd like to spend the night with her at her hotel. 

"I'm sure Dwight won't mind spending an extra night." He called him on the way to the hotel and settled that they'd leave first thing in the morning. 

Y/N took a shower, buttered her skin, and slipped on a low hanging old tank that read _Marlon's Body-Builders._ She didn't bother putting panties on, waiting for Daveed to exit the bathroom. 

When he came out, a towel around his waist, she was back in bed, her leg tossed casually over a bended knee. She pretended to be idly watching T.V. though she knew full well that her breast was visible from the large arm whole of the shirt and a glimpse of her womanhood, too, when she moved her leg just right. 

Daveed laughed at her thinly-veiled suggestion. He discarded his towel to the side and climbed onto the bed. He tossed her legs open and they made love twice. 

They slept until midnight, and then awakened, starving. In all their lust, they'd both promptly forgotten about dinner. The hotel kitchen was closed, so Y/N ordered a pizza from a cheap twenty-four hour shop down the street. Room service brought the box to their room and it was delicious. They feasted until two, then laughed through _Martin_ re-runs until they fell back asleep around four. 

Y/N's eyes were met with the dim, gray light of morning. In her drowsiness, she saw Daveed's naked silhouette quietly shuffling around. She breathed into her pillow, willing herself to awaken. 

"You leaving?" she questioned groggily. He looked back at her. 

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"No, it's okay. I'm supposed to be up." The alarm clock on the side dresser rattled off just then, and she switched it off before it got annoying. "See?"

Daveed snickered and pulled his pants onto his hips. Y/N sat up on her elbows, watching him as he got dressed. "I still can't believe you came all the way here just so I wouldn't get soaked in the rain."

He slipped closed the last button on his shirt and said simply, "I'll do a lot of stuff for the people I care about."

Y/N knew that he loved her, but it was in that moment that she realized his adoration for her went passed the thrill of her brains and fascination with her beauty. He cared about her like she was family, like she was apart of his heart. He cared about her like he cared about himself. It was probably her insecurities talking, but she honestly couldn't believe someone could care about her so much. 

She sat up straighter and gently turned his face to hers. She raked her fingers through his curls and said, "You're the best, Daveed."

He smiled and returned, "And you're my favorite." 

Y/N drew him in for a long kiss, so long that it took a text alert from his phone to finally break them apart. Y/N kissed on his neck as Daveed read the message. 

"I have to go," Daveed said and put his phone into his pocket, "my friend's on the way to the airport." 

She groaned and wrapped her arms around him. "I wish you could stay." 

He kissed her forehead. "I know—me too. But this is your last day here and next weekend is only a few days away."

"It's not the same!" she whined playfully and pulled him back down onto the bed. Daveed relented and indulged her kisses for a few more minutes until he got another text from his friend that he'd gotten to the airport. 

Luckily for Daveed, it was only a ten minute drive away, so he didn't rush about as he got the rest of his things and headed to the door. Y/N leaned against the door frame as he pulled his coat onto his shoulders. She caught his umbrella against the wall and went over to get it. "Don't forget this!" 

She tried to hand it to him but he refused. "No, you keep it. You need it more than I do." He winked and she teasingly slapped his chest.

"Have a safe flight, okay?" She cupped his face in her palms and touched her lips to his.

"I'll text you when I land."

He surveyed her for a second, longer than he normally would. Y/N tilted her head. "What?"

"Nothing," he replied easily and Y/N sucked her teeth, knowing there was something tumbling around in his mind that he wasn't saying. She let him live, though, and kissed him again. Another text from his friend had him hurrying down the hallway. She stayed by the doorframe, his umbrella in her hands, until he got onto the elevator. 

\- - -

"Years later I asked him about that, why he just stared at me. He said he couldn't remember about that day specifically, but he said he knew that I was the one he wanted to be with around that time. Anyway…" Y/N sighed and wrapped her hands around her now-empty tea cup. Janisa poured hot water into it and Y/N used its warmth for her palms. "From then on, I knew I loved that man. Even when we broke up, I still did."

"Wait. You two broke up?" Bahati's eyebrow lifted, surprised. "When? I thought you were together ever since you _got_ together." 

"That's a story for another day," Y/N tittered and winked. 

She was on her way back home a few hours later, the drive giving her just enough time to lament over how she'd treated Daveed earlier. They both annoyed each other, but it was a rare that he actually deserved her snippiness. An apology was on her lips as she entered their home. 

Daveed was in the family room, typing away on his laptop. The kids were nowhere to be seen, which was okay. They needed to have a talk. 

"Hey," he greeted without looking up from his work. "How was the day with your girls?"

"Hey." Y/N slipped off her jacket and hung it on the back of a kitchen chair. "It was great catching up with them. We're planning on doing dinner in a month or so." 

"Cool. Glad you had a good time."

"What are you up to?" She tried to peek at his laptop screen, but he closed it before she could take a good look. He picked up the folder that was on the cushion beside him and started flipping through it. 

"Just catching up on some work."

"Oh, okay…where's Gab and X?"

"Up in the playroom. They actually agreed on a movie this time."

"That's good. What was the choice?" 

" _The Prince of Egypt_."

Y/N smiled. It certainly was a classic and one of her personal favorites, but Daveed didn't sound particularly ecstatic when telling her. "Are you gonna look at me?" she asked. 

Daveed lifted his eyes from his work and met hers. Y/N could tell he was still a little sour from the morning. She hated hurting his feelings and never intended to. She managed to look guilty, but didn't want him trying to make her feel better about what happened. She went over and sat beside him. 

"Babe, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. No matter how stressed out we get about this baby, I don't need to take it out on you." 

The acceptance of her apology didn't come immediately like she thought. Instead, Daveed canvassed her for a moment before closing his folder and laptop and setting it on the coffee table. "Y/N, I need to know if you're as serious about this as I am."

Her eyebrows drew together. "About having a baby? Of course I am."

"From what you said earlier, I don't know if I'm convinced."

 _Ouch_. She cringed. 

Daveed had approached her about their upcoming "schedule," a.k.a the best time of the month for Y/N to conceive. Even though the window was only open for a few days of the week, Daveed didn't like missing any opportunities and quite literally had her holed up in their bedroom three days before and three days after the window. It was an exhausting timeline and even more frustrating when Y/N genuinely didn't feel like having sex. 

She tried to tell him that in the best way possible, but looking back, it could've come across a lot better. " _Daveed, I have a life outside of fucking you and making you a father of three. Please, let me breathe."_

"I told you before," he continued, "that if you didn't want to do this, we don't have to, but you said you did." Confusion lined his face and Y/N realized she was sending mixed signals. Being married for ten years didn't mean that he'd pick up on every little detail about her. "I want this to be a good thing for us."

"I do, too—,"

"Then you can’t be talking to me that way," Daveed cut her off. "I'm not just some guy off the street begging for kids. You make me sound like a sperm donor, Y/N."

"I didn't mean…" Y/N sighed, unsure if there was anything she could say to make him feel better. "D, I'm so sorry. I really need you to believe that. Sometimes I say things in ways I don't mean—,"

"We've been together too long for you not to know how to talk to me. If I ever said something like that to you, you'd probably file for divorce."

"That's a little dramatic," she said to lighten the mood, but Daveed frowned. 

"That's not the point. We've been at this for five months now. The time to tell me that this wasn't something you wanted was when it first came up."

"Baby." Y/N put her hand on his wrist. "I do want another child. Really. I just…" she exhaled and licked her lips. There was no point in skirting around the truth. Keeping back her genuine feelings had gotten them to this point. "I have doubts." 

"What?" He shifted his body towards her. 

"I have doubts," she repeated, certain of the feeling. 

"Why?"

"You remember when I first found out I was pregnant with Gabby and just felt lost?"

Daveed nodded. "Yeah…" It hadn't been the happiest moment of Y/N's life and at the time, had made him very aware of that. 

"It's kind of like that. I had the same doubts with Xavier, too."

His eyebrows drew together. "Really? Why didn't you tell me that?" he queried as if she'd kept that information to herself to hurt him. 

"Because I put you through enough during my first pregnancy and I didn't want you to worry the second time around. And because I know how I am. I didn't have the greatest example of a mother growing up, so being a mother myself always raises red flags. Will I be good enough? Will I want to have to deal with a newborn? Will I be able to extend my love to the this baby the I had for that baby? I get scared when I think I won't be able to do those things."

"But you always do those things. You're a great mother."

Y/N smiled. "That's my point, babe. I don't know if I'll ever get rid of that fear, those voices telling me this isn't worth it because I'm not good enough. But each time we had a baby, everything turned out okay."

Daveed didn't look thoroughly convinced, but he at least didn't look grouchy anymore. Y/N continued, "You know my mom isn't getting a standing ovation for _Mother of the Year_ any time soon, so I always get nervous that some of her habits rubbed off on me. If anything, the doubts come from my fear of being like her."

"But you're not her; you're you."

"I know." Y/N rubbed his leg. They sat in silence for a moment, allowing what they both had to say to settle. It was true that the truth could hurt, but Y/N didn't feel the sizzle of animosity emanating from him anymore. She took the second of coolness to add, "There's something else, too."

Daveed looked at her as if bracing himself for bad news. 

"Sweetie, I'm also just worn the hell _out_." She chuckled a bit and traced her hand down his stubbly cheek. "I’m being run ragged. As much as I love being with you, it's starting to feel like I'm not actually _with_ you, you know? Every time we have sex, it's just about me getting pregnant. I don't always want to be praying that it actually worked this time. Sometimes I just want my first and last thought to be _you_." 

She intertwined her fingers with his. "I know how important this is to you. It's important to me, too, and again I'm sorry for making you feel alone in this. I guess all the trying and the doubts really stress me out. It's a lot of pressure on both of us."

Daveed nodded, his countenance understanding with a touch of resignation. "Do you...want to stop trying for a while?" he offered, and Y/N could appreciate his trying to make it work for the both of them. 

"We can still try, but maybe not as often?" Y/N suggested. "There _is_ such a thing as too much sex; even when it's good."

Daveed seemed to find that amusing. He grinned for the first time since she got there. 

"How about this," she reckoned, "on the days when it's the most likely I could get pregnant is when it's about the baby. No question. That's the goal." Y/N gestured like she was swearing on the Bible.

She shifted so that she was sitting closer to him. Though she was sure the kids couldn't hear, she added quietly, "Every other time, it's just about _us…"_ she ran her palm across his chest. "Because I really, _really_ miss telling you all the other places I want your cum to be." 

His gaze became redolent almost immediately, as if he'd forgotten that keen fact. Y/N knew she got him and was finally given the okay to kiss up on him. "You really do know how to get yourself out of a tight spot, huh? Can't even give me a full 24-hours to be mad," he said and Y/N giggled. 

"I love all you, Daveed," she said into his shoulder as they embraced. "I'm so glad I have you."

He kissed the spot behind her ear. "I love you, too."

She pulled away and could see in his soft brown eyes that he truly did love all of her. "I don't want this to be a thing that we don't come back from. I want this new chapter in our lives to bring us even closer." 

"I agree." He nicked her chin with his finger. "Sorry I've been driving you crazy with this. I don't mean to. I guess it was something that took my mind off the institute rejection and job hunt, too.” He swept a hand toward his laptop and folder. “Plus, it’s not every day that a man is lucky enough to make a baby with the most beautiful woman in the world." He kissed her forehead. 

Y/N bit her lip, then asked, "When did you put the movie on?" 

"About a half-hour ago." 

Good. That gave them at least another hour. The kids' playroom was too close to their bedroom, and there was a good chance one would come down wanting a snack. Y/N pulled Daveed to his feet and hurried toward the laundry room.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled as he trotted behind her into the small space. 

"I wanna try out our new schedule," Y/N replied simply and closed the door behind them. 

* * *

**_Thanks for reading!_ **


End file.
